Last week, I sent out a letter that told the story of ‘I want to be here’.
Today I wanted to chat about one of the inspirations - the song ‘Praying’ by Kesha.
Kesha’s music is not really my style but during the week when I thought I had totally fucked up my life, after talking to my boss about my mental health, (Read Wednesdays letter for the full story) I was on Youtube a lot and this video popped up.
The song and video are beautiful but it was like she was telling my story with some of the lyrics:
Well, you almost had me fooled
Told me that I was nothing without you
Oh, but after everything you've done
I can thank you for how strong I have become'Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell- Praying, Kesha
“And we both know the truth I could tell.”
There was so much hurt and pain buried inside of me because I thought I had deserved all the bad things that happened to me. My truth had been locked away inside of me for a very long time and making ‘I want to be here’ helped me to set some of it free.
And then there was this part:
I'm proud of who I am
No more monsters, I can breathe again
And you said that I was done
Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come- Praying, Kesha
It was so filled with hope and, even more so, with a determination to not let this be the end of her.
The best is yet to come.
I listened to this song on repeat, all week. I cried. I screamed the lyrics. And then on the Friday, the idea for ‘I want to be here’ came to me.
A little book/zine in which I was going to use my writing and art to tell my story, my truth but, I was going to end with hope.
Because that is what I felt as I got stuck into creating: hopeful.
Inspiration can come from the strangest of places. It can come when we least expect it or when we are down on knees, begging for something, anything, to help drag us back to our feet.
I am so grateful for Kesha for writing ‘Praying’ and for being so honest and vulnerable with her own story. She inspired me and gave me the courage to do the same.
‘I want to be here’ is 3 this month and so to celebrate, it currently has 50% off, making it just £6.
10% of all proceeds go to Derbyshire Mind.
If you would like to buy a copy, click here.
To everyone who has already bought a copy, thank you so much. It means more than I can ever say. I am so, so grateful for your support. Thank you. 🖤
Thank you so much for reading.
As always, if you enjoyed this letter or anything resonated, please let me know by replying to this email or, if you are on Substack, by giving it a like or leaving a comment. If you really enjoyed it, please share it or restack it so someone else might find it. Thank you. 🖤
Until next time, take care of yourself.
Love,
Becky
🖤✨🌈
I LOVE this song by Kesha, so much powerful emotion behind it; it was one I listened to a lot following my divorce 6 years ago.