Persistent, Not Consistent
My new mantra
Hi, I’m Becky, an artist and writer based in Derbyshire. I write about my life in what I hope is an honest and open way. I write about an array of topics and about simply trying to find my way in this world. Please subscribe to support my work and to read more of my posts.
A few weeks a go, I sent out a letter in which I raged a little bit at the ways in which we are made to feel bad about not always being consistent with things:
You are allowed a day off from exercise, but don’t do any more than that or all hope will be lost.
You must post at a consistent rate, on a consistent day, at a consistent time on you Substack/blog or you will never, EVER be a success.
If you run a business, you must be on all social media, posting every day to every possible part of it. You will not make it otherwise.
You want to be a better person? You best start enjoying 5am wake up calls. (Why is it always 5am?!)
I wasn't having any of it and, on a conscious level, I’m still not having any of it now but, deep down inside of me, there is still that nagging voice, parroting Consistency Is Key, trying to make me believe that I am a failure if I miss my usual letter slot or don’t go for a walk for a few days.
And then I read a book called How Not To Fit In by Jess Joy and Charlotte Mia and I read something that really altered my perception.
They write about praising persistence, not just consistency:
“… we, as a society, tend to praise consistency - sticking to routines, nailing the exact same good timetable each week (this can apply to all areas of life, including diet and exercise) - but actually persistence need to be praised so much more.”
And I think there is something really true in this. If you are persistent in your exercising, writing, eating well etc, it means that you are always trying.
Yes, you might not always be consistent whether this is due to you being neurodivergent, your hormone cycle or you simply being a human being with flaws and strengths, ebbs and flows but, if you are persistent, you keep going back to it.
You keep trying and that is amazing.
Anyone who just parrots ‘Consistency is key’ without any thought to why a person might struggle with this, isn’t trying to set you up for success. They are readying themselves for your ultimate failure so they can say ‘Well, I did tell you that you’d have to be consistent. It’s your fault that you weren’t.”
I think ‘Consistency is key’ might be up there with ‘Nobody cares!’ as a saying/advice I really don’t like which is why Persistent, Not Consistent is my new mantra.
Because, if I am anything, it is persistent.
A Quick Note
Obviously, there are some things where you have to be consistent, such as sobriety. I have been very consistently sober myself for 20 months and 1 day.
This letter is more about our societies need to push us into constant productivity. We are lazy for taking a day off, no matter the reasons for taking it. I know this is bullshit but I don’t allow myself this grace. This letter is me trying to allow myself some of this grace. And to allow you some too. I am allowed to simply be. You are allowed to simply be. We truly, truly are.
✨ Let me know your thoughts in the comments. You can, of course, disagree but please be kind. I’m only human.
Thank you so much for reading.
As always, if you enjoyed this letter or anything resonated, please let me know by replying to this email or, if you are on Substack, by giving it a like or leaving a comment. If you really enjoyed it, please share it or restack it so someone else might find it. Thank you. 🖤
I hope you have the most gorgeous week.
Until next time, take care of yourself.
Love,
Becky
🖤✨🌈
I like your new mantra, I may adopt it myself. It would suit me much more than being consistent. I've never thought much about it, but you're right, it is another way to push us into productivity. I sometimes have a feeling that we, as society, don't know how not to be productive anymore, that everything is looked at through this lens. It's actually scary.