Hi, I’m Becky, an artist and writer based in Derbyshire. I write about my life in what I hope is an honest and open way. I write about mental health, autism, sobriety and simply trying to find my way in this world. Please subscribe to support my work and to read more of my posts.
Hi,
How are you?
This week’s letter is a follow on from this one:
I wanted to let you know whether or not my new habits for January have worked. Has taking my time this year actually worked?
I am not going to leave you waiting for an answer - the answer is yes, it has most definitely worked. I have had one of the best January’s I have had in a long time. It was still the longest month in the history of months, but it has been great. No January Blues, no feeling utterly miserable. It’s been a good month.
And here are the reasons why:
1. I accepted the fact that it is January
I decided way back in mid December that in January 2024 I was not falling into the trap of feeling like I needed to jump into action because it’s January or because it’s a new year.
I got my first January posts written and scheduled in December. And although there were things I wanted change, these changes weren’t about me needing to be different, they were about me doing more of what I loved doing - bullet journaling, reading, not just getting lost scrolling on Notes or checking my emails because the habit of picking up my phone is so ingrained.
And, even though I added it in top stop of my habit tracker, I was not going to be angry at myself if I didn’t get outside everyday into the cold and the wet. Mainly because it was cold and wet.
2. I have chosen reading
In January, I read 13 books. In the whole of 2023, I read 47 so it is safe to say I have definitely chosen reading.
Instead of putting the telly on or scrolling my phone, I have sat and read. On my lunch break or any small breaks during my working day, I have gotten my book out. When I went to the dentist, I even took my book with me knowing full well I would get there, at least, 15 minutes early. These small changes have all helped me to do a lot more reading. And I have read some phenomenal books that have inspired my own writing.
As
said in the comments of Taking my Time, even if you love reading, as I do, you have to make the active decision to do it.That is the same with everything. Like me not going outside much in January. I could have made the active decision to do it. I need to be careful on the really cold days, due to have circulation issues, but there were many days where that excuse just doesn’t fly. This year just wasn’t the year to do but, thankfully, there are other years to come. And, as I live in the UK, probably many more cold months this year!
3. I took time to set up my bullet journal for February
After having such a lovely couple of days setting up my new bullet journal in the limbo time between Christmas and New Year, I swore that I would take the time to set it up properly.
In the past, I have often done it whilst watching TV, not fully concentrating on either task. I don’t want to do this anymore.
So, on the weekend before the end of January, I set myself up on the dining room table and drew out my February spread. I took my time, forgot about screens, other than to grab some inspiration from Pinterest, and just enjoyed being quiet, present and creative.
4. I got a quiet alarm clock
I got a quiet alarm clock, instead of relying on my phone and, after a few times of forgetting, I have started leaving my phone out of my bedroom.
And I have been sleeping really well and getting up at a regular time has become much easier. Even though it is still dark and cold, my 7am alarm doesn’t feel quite so bad. I am actually enjoying waking up early (ish) which is not something I ever thought I would say.
I feel like I have more energy in general. I don’t think this is entirely because of my new alarm clock but more all the changes I have made adding up together.
I am on screens a lot less, I am reading and creating a lot more. I just feel better, in my energy levels, in my day-to-day and in myself.
I will continuing this all into February and 2024.
More for February
Within my February bullet journal spread I have also brought my water tracker in the world of analogue.
Having really struggled with UTIs in 2022 and early 2023, I made it my mission to drink more water. In March 2023, I downloaded a water tracker and, just like the Streaks app, it has been really helpful for getting me to form the good habit of drinking enough water.
But again, just like the Streaks app, I am sick and tired of the notifications. The pinging, the lights. I don’t know why this has happened in the last few month but I just know I need to unplug myself from my phone.
I have also added in a money tracker and spending log.
I am not bad with money - I don’t have any debt (other than my student loans) and I don’t buy things in a frivolous manner. I do, however, feel that there is level of nonchalance within me when it comes to money. Like, I know money is important. It’s how people keep roofs over their head, food in the cupboards and water flowing through the pipes. It’s important. I just think other things are more important. Like my time. More and more money is made every single day but our time is finite. Every second is a second we will never get back.
Also, I grew up in a working class family. We didn’t have a lot of money but I always felt safe and happy within my home. I didn’t need a lot to have fun when I was kid - just my imagination and, sometimes, some Quality Street wrappers. Not much has changed now.
I think there is also a level of fear when it comes to money. Fear of not having enough to achieve my desires. Fear of having too much and changing into someone who only cares about money and material possessions.
But, I do want to work on being more grateful for my money. I want to save to achieve some of my desires. I want to care. Not so much that I think money is the only important thing in the world but just enough.
A note: I am only human
January was a really good month for me but, as February hit, I didn’t get the best news from my physio and then my periods started for the month. The first weekend in February was just pain and sheer exhaustion. This didn’t happen in January because, just before my periods started for the month, I had time off work for Yule and New Year. This month, they were sandwiched between two working weeks.
I am only human and bad days are going to happen. Some days because of periods, others because I haven’t slept well or I’m just having a bad day.
The idea behind the things I have brought into my life aren’t to have a perfect, nothing ever goes wrong kind of life. It is so I can have a better life, not a perfect one because a perfect life doesn’t exist. Not for us humans, anyhow. I think well-looked after and loved cats come pretty close but, not us humans.
On those bad days, I just want to listen to what I need. Maybe it’s a lie in. Maybe it’s going straight to sleep when I go upstairs to bed or maybe it’s spending the morning sitting reading, praying the Ibuprofen kicks in quickly instead of doing yoga.
Taking my time this January did work and I hope to continue all of this into February and 2024, trying out some things, keeping the things that work, leaving the things that don’t. But I am going to be very mindful of the fact that I am a human being, not a machine.
A human being who has good days and bad days. A human being who is just doing their best.
✨ How has your January gone? Are you happy to be in February?
Thank you so much for reading. As always, if you enjoyed my letter, please give it a like, leave me a comment or reply to this email. And please give it a share or a restack. It might get it to someone who needs to read it. Thank you. 🖤
Until next time, take care of yourself.
Love,
Becky
🖤✨🌈
🤗 happy to hear much of this - definitely another reminder to maybe reduce my attachment to my phone but I'm not there yet 😬
I hope you continue having a good February 🫶🏻
Loving this insight into how you track and reflect on your day-to-day, thanks for sharing it! Equal Rites is my favourite of all the Discworld books (maybe because it was the one my dad recommended I start with, but I think it holds its own even I take away that sentimentality!) so I loved seeing this on your tracker. I've been tracking my purchases digitally this year so far but I loved what you said in a previous letter about analogue notes, so this is really fascinating to see the format you use.
My big thing in January was about making space for myself - both physically (as in, making some practical changes to my work setup and living space) and digitally (limiting my screen time, unsubscribing from a lot of things, thinking about email boundaries), and it really feels like I benefitted from both of those, so they're definitely things I want to continue into February and beyond!